Gratitude

So you want to remain friends with your “mistress” (I guess that’s what she was even though we didn’t make enough money for that title) and spend Thanksgiving as a family. I kept replaying this riddle in my head.  Why was I still entertaining this foolishness? This was, in fact, fuckery on another level. He was going to drive 17 hours to my hometown in Georgia for the Thanksgiving holiday.  I toyed with the idea of driving down with him, but I kept visualizing myself bashing his head in along I-85. I decided that the best solution for all involved was for us to travel separately. 

Leading up to the trip, the only thing I could think of was this love triangle I was in and how to get out of it unscathed. Do I issue an ultimatum or take the “if you love someone, let them go” approach? Or continue to fluctuate between Dr. Jekyll and Mrs. Hyde? Something had to give. I randomly came across GirlTrek’s 40-Days of Gratitude campaign which would end on my 41st birthday. Essentially, participants were asked to walk for 30-minutes and share a sentiment of gratitude daily for 40 days.  The 40th day would end on the last day of my 40th year. Was this a coincidence or the universe heeding my call for freedom?  I needed something to get me through the days before our trip. I needed something to get me through…period.

It turns out that sharing gratitude each day connected me to my own humanity which I had traded for external approval and ladder climbing.  Allowing others to witness my becoming, albeit in cyberspace, compelled me to show up more fiercely in real life. Slowly, I began to rise from my hands and knees and hobble back to life! 

#SMDH

5 Comments Add yours

  1. Tracy says:

    Once again, awesome!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Kwanfe Taylor says:

    Very Powerful!!! Different roads traveled but arrived at the same destination.💓

    Like

  3. LaTasha Wilson says:

    Love it!!!

    Like

  4. Jennifer Jones says:

    Yass you’re back, and I love it. Like I said before, when I was going through my divorce, I felt so alone and ashamed. I was about to share my ex husband because I didn’t want the world to know that it was over…. But God🙌🏾 he had other plans. Thank you for sharing, this will help more people than you can ever imagine 😘

    Like

    1. zsackor1 says:

      Thank you so much, Jennifer!!! We are learning and growing every day. Thank God!

      Like

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